First post, yay whooptee.

So I keep hearing I’m a writer, so I should do one of these things. Whooptee doodle. Yippie-kai-ay.

I imagine we’ll mostly be tackling issues like adverbs, dialogue-driven characterization, and various common fantasy tropes. Should you listen to me? Maybe. If you want to. It’ll be a lot of ill-educated whining about writing (which I think I know a lot about), grammar (which I can say with some certainty I do know a lot about), and occasionally my personal life (which I know far, far too much about). There may also be periodic recipes, mostly things covered in bacon. Because bacon makes everything better.

Yes. Anyway.

This blog will accompany me, like a pretty-but-not-quite-as-pretty-as-me handmaiden, on my journey through the doubtless entertaining swamp of self-publishing. Do I know what I’m doing? No! Hell, no. But you can learn from my mistakes as well as my successes. There are enough experts online these days, anyway. Think of me more as that kid who sat in back of your chemistry class in tenth grade, whose nostrils were always caked in white powder and whose blood alcohol content was so high that he, beyond all expectations, pickled his own liver. Could he help you study for midterms? No. But you did learn something from him. It was even, in a roundabout way, something about chemistry.

More educational posts to follow. This is just me saying hello.

UPDATE: Here’s my generalized listing of what will happen when, just to keep myself sane and keep you guys from pissing yourselves in excitement.

WEDNESDAY: Writin’ Wednesday. Here there be posts. About writing. And how I do it. And stuff.

FRIDAY: Friendly Friday. On Friday, I’ll post a review of something I’ve read lately that rocks. This’ll be mostly indie, because I believe in giving a leg up to people who deserve it. If you want me to review you, you’re welcome to shoot me a message, but be warned–I’ll only do it if I liked your story.

SAT/SUN: Wallowing Weekend. On one of these days there will be a spare post, about writing/food/me wallowing in self-pity over the shattered but interesting wreckage of my personal existence. Or maybe more writing stuff, because writing also works with weekend.

This is, of course, bare bones. I have an infinite amount of words at my disposal, and am only too eager to vomit them all over the internet.


5 thoughts on “First post, yay whooptee.

  1. Southern horror. Interesting. Whiskey is always a good start for writing. I prefer Scotch.
    Be prepared to spend as much time writing the blog as you do writing the book. That was probably my biggest surprise so far. That and the unpredictable nature of which posts people will like. Good luck.

    1. Thank you, Carlos!

      It’s funny, I was just talking to somebody about this being a time-sink…it does worry me a little. Time is precious, even where words are plentiful. I figure cute animals+liquor is the formula that keeps people happiest, so I plan on just posting a lot of pictures of kittens holding bottles of vodka and getting on with the rest of my life.

      I’ve been known to enjoy scotch on occasion, but the old man sitting in the lonely corner of the neighborhood bar deep inside me says whiskey. 🙂

      1. All Scotch is whiskey, but all whiskey is not Scotch. Minor difference. lol

        As to content, just make sure it is original. Not in the sense of “something new.” There isn’t much new in the world. Original as in “not someone else’s material.” I know it’s hypocritical of me to love being RTed and reblogged, but not wanting to clutter mine with it. C’est la guerre.

        I’m following you and am interested to see what you do with this platform.

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