‘Where D’you Get Your Protein?’
Hi there, readers. My name is Emily, and I’m a vegetarian.
Well, let me be honest. I was vegetarian for many, many years growing up, and then I fell off the wagon. Why? Because bacon is delicious. It really, truly is. Anybody who tells you a thick slice of tempeh is ‘better’ than bacon is either a liar or has no good remembrance of what bacon tastes like. Bacon is the taste of angels playing saxaphone. It’s the taste of soft-focus eighties love scenes on a white bearskin rug. It is. OMFG. Awesome.
But we’re back on the wagon now, and my friends have questions for me. Okay–a lot of them have the same question.
I’m not going to go into my reasoning for re-vegging here–you have some other vegetarian friend who’s given it to you already, at length, probably with a beer or bottle of whiskey balanced on one knee.
So don’t worry, this isn’t going to be one of those ‘vegetarian lifestyle’ posts. I don’t think there IS a damned lifestyle, and I get very tired of people who try to tell me there is. Just because you don’t eat meat doesn’t mean you’ve earned a street festival and a pride float, or have the right to attempt changing the dietary decisions of your friends and family. Bacon is, after all, delicious. And some people want the delicious.
So don’t worry about all that. I’m posting this vegetarian-themed blog for a single reason–a surprisingly scientific reason.
If one more person asks me ‘where I’m going to get my protein’, I am going to scientifically murder a busload of babies.
I don’t know how the complete myth that meat is the only food-substance containing protein has continued on into the modern age. Not when we have nutrition labels on everything, Google at our fingertips.
Grains and legumes have a TON of protein. So does dairy, obviously.
And here’s the thing–your daily protein requirement? Not that tough to meat. (Like that pun, eh? Eh? EH?)
A woman requires 46g of protein a day, a man 56. Let’s examine foods with protein in them for a second, shall we? Let’s start with my sad little work lunch.
I had, for lunch, a TastyBite serving of Jaipur Vegetables and a greek yogurt. I scarfed down a bagel for breakfast on my way to work. Go on, whine about processed foods and not-enough-veggies for a while. I’ll just smile blandly and turn a deaf ear.
Done? Okay. Here’s my daily protein count so far.
Bagel with cream cheese: 13ishg protein
TastyBite Jaipur Veggies–14g protein
Muller Lowfat Greek Yoghurt With Candied Almonds–13g protein
Woah! It’s only lunch time, and I’ve already had forty fucking grams of protein. Incredible, no? Without eating any meat. And, most importantly–without even thinking about it, until I started typing this.
And I WILL have some ice cream for dessert. Not sure what’s for dinner, but there WILL be ice cream for dessert. The 46g requirement will be reached.
So, hmm. How to put this.
Thank you for your concern about my protein intake. Even though I’ve NEVER heard you mention protein in conversation before, OR concern about how much of it people in general eat. Even though you couldn’t name five non-meat foods that contain protein. Thanks.
If you really cared about the health of my tubby little self, you might want to ask those what’re-you-eating questions about calories and fat. Trust me, THAT total for today’s food isn’t nearly as pretty. Jaipur vegetables, apparently, don’t come ‘skinny’. Ice cream does, but I prefer ice cream that doesn’t taste like country-fried ass.
(On a writerly sidenote: does anyone else grind their teeth to near-combustion every time someone refers to a low-fat food as ‘skinny’? No, that food IS NOT SKINNY. Not unless it’s spaghetti, or julienned carrots, or something else very narrow. What that food is, in fact, is ‘low fat’ or ‘low calorie’. Stop it, incorrect euphemisms. STOP IT.)
Anyway, sorry for taking up y’all’s time. I’m posting this mostly so I can print up some nice little cards with the URL for this post on them and hand them out to the next fifty people who feel the need to ask me this question.
Here’s a link, if you were curious, about twelve non-meat sources of protein, and wow, most of them are just as good as a goddamn steak. Sure, the author confuses ‘whooping’ and ‘whopping’, but not everyone’s a twitchy grammarian with a hair-trigger temper, and many good points are made.